Dear Chase ...

There is currently a band of sunburn (about 1cm in width) on my upper arm from sitting under a searing pulsating sunbeam for 3.21 hours. I thought I had effectively covered myself in SPF 1000. Alas.

Dome open in June + extra innings = SUNBURN

No BP again. Toronto is also home to very few Phillies fans. I sat on the visitor's side and I could count the number of Phillies jerseys on 2 hands (1 Pence, 2 Utley, 1 Howard, 1 Lee, & 1 Halladay). Bizarre. I sat next to actual Philadelphians. Awesome. And safety in numbers.

Fig 1: Clifton Phifer Lee

Cliff Lee was on the mound today. He's 0-3 this season. He hasn't won a game since Sept. 26, 2011. WTF?! I thought that for sure he'd be able to pick up a win in Toronto. In the 8th inning, right before he got chased off the field: he had only thrown 86 pitches of which 65 were for strikes (75%). I think Romero had thrown that many pitches back in the 5th. True, Lee had given up a season high of 12 hits and 5 runs. He walked one and only struck out 3 over seven plus innings. But, he was the picture of efficiency. We five Phillies fans sitting in section 115 were ready to be pretty obnoxious in the 8th after Jimmy Rollins (J-Ro) hit an opposite-field double to put the Phillies ahead, 5-2. But, at the bottom of the 8th, Lee fell apart. He walked Jose Bautista. Edwin Encarnacion singled to left to score Bautista. 12 ft tall John Mayberry Jr. then threw the ball into J-Ro at short, who then tried to get it to Michael Martinez at 2B as Encarnacion headed for the bag. But, Rollins missed. Encarnacion came around to score and cut the Phillies' lead to 5-4. We were on our feet in DISBELIEF. Lee gave up a final hit to Kelly Johnson before Charlie Manuel signalled to the bullpen for Chad Qualls. J.P. Arencibia doubled off Qualls to even the game at 5. DEJECTION. I saw, especially with the Jays' tendency last year for squeezing out comeback wins, that ever elusive "W" slipping away. I also felt the chance at a postseason slipping away with it.

Fig2: SPOTTED Charlie Manuel pulling Lee

The Phils then turned to Schwimer and Savery to finish the game. The Jays have no starting pitchers. Ricky Romero isn't worried that he can't find the strike zone. He just doesn't want to come down with "elbow soreness." They brought in Cordero (the man who blows every game!) and still came out on top. I think I actually would have preferred (though begrudgingly) to see Papelbon earn his $50 million today.

Notes:

Fig 3: Hunter Pence and his awesome swing

• Ryan Howard and Chase Utley are sorely needed back on the Phillies. Projected timeline for their return: like 2-3 years ... maybe it just feels that way with Ty 'Kingslayer'* Wigginton at 1B (?!). It was more effective for the Phillies to call off the Kingslayer on every in-field pop-up in favour of Martinez. He was awful. *"Kingslayer" was coined in-game.
• I saw my first ever live BALK (Savery, 10th innning).
• Hunter Pence's batting stance: the best in baseball?
• Charlie Manuel might be the man who invented baseball but watching him trot to the mound he didn't look a day over 97.

UPDATE: Papelbon pitched on Sunday with the Jays leading 6-2 in the eight (?!?!?!?) Not something Joe Maddon or The Wash would do. #JustSayin

This weekend

There are two things I am excited about this weekend:

Screenshot from http://toronto.bluejays.mlb.com

1. Cliff Lee & the Phillies in Toronto - I have been waiting for this appearance for a while. I would have settled for Cole Hamels. I do not need to see Jonathan Papelbon. I am bummed that the Phillies are doing so poorly as of late. My favourite episode of It's Always Sunny is "The World Series Defense" and I've always wanted to bring a sign to a game that said: "Dear Chase, ... you run fast."
2. Tim Lincecum is starting on Saturday in his hometown of Seattle against the Mariners. "Hey baby I hear the blues a'callin'/ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ..." I don't think fans in the Bay Area are ready to chase him out of town yet (2 back to back Cy Young awards and a World Series should buy him a little more time) but there are a lot of men aged 19-35 who have ripped up clumps of hair in frustration in the last 3 months and young women who are no longer crushing on The Freak. Silver lining: there will be a friendly crowd to welcome him him and he's not facing the Texas line-up. I can feel it. This is where he turns it around!

The Great Bryce Harper

Drabek & Harper (Rogers Center, June 2012)

There was a crowd of 41,667 today at the Rogers Center. The dome was open, a glaring hot sun and crisp blue sky. There were dragonflies the size of an adult human's hand buzzing about and a cool breeze blowing through from time to time. We weren't even surrounded by school groups today!

The Great Bryce Harper (Rogers Center, June 2012)

I sensed that it wouldn't be a great outing for the Jays with Stephen Strasburg (7-1) on the mound for the Nationals. But, Kyle Drabek (4-6) has moments of genius. Alas, today was not one of them. He held the top 2/3rds of the Nationals' line-up from doing much damage. However, Tyler Moore (batting 7th) felt like putting on a show. El Diablo (newly anointed "Peaches") stated that he hated Nationals 2B Danny Espinosa as he came up to bat in the second with Michael Morse and Ian Desmond on first and second. There was no reason or context for these feelings. Peaches is irrational like that. I casually remarked that he should probably direct that hate to Tyler Moore since he was going to be the one to drive in those runs. Sure enough, Espinosa grounded out to Encarnacion and the runners advanced. Enter Moore: a two-run double to center for his first Major League RBIs. At his next AB, Moore took Drabek deep for his first career home run. Nationals were ahead, 4-2. The rookie then blasted a second home run (the first Nationals player this season with a multi-homer game) off Blue Jays reliever Aaron Laffey. Moore drove in a total of five Nationals' runs. Confession: I'm basically responsible for the Jays loss today. The one time I wear my Jays cap to the stadium. Now, I would dismiss this as mere coincidence except Colby Rasmus was 0/3 when he came to the plate in the bottom of the 8th. I turned to The Clash and said, "I feel it. This is where he turns it around." The result: ground rule double on a line drive to left center. Lesson: I have the ability to control the outcome of baseball games.

The Great Bryce Harper? Not today. He went 1/5. And since the Jays weren't really hitting anything, it was a quiet day for him in RF.

Stephen Strasburg (Rogers Center, June 2012)

No smoke coming off Stephen Strasburg fastballs today. He was throwing harder the more he pitched but only reached 97mph at his fastest. He threw 62 of his 89 pitches for strikes. He quietly dominated the Jays allowing just five hits and one walk while striking out eight over six innings. Though, he might want to remember the name Rajai Davis for future encounters since he was the only Blue Jay to make an offensive attack against the pitcher (a triple, 3rd inning). The other run was a Jose Bautista HR in the third.

Observations:

• Even if you're in your 30s (like The Clash and Peaches) you will get a) told by the beer vendor that he can't sell you beer because he thinks your can is still full b) get carded
• We spotted
• TWO Rasmus Jerseys (if they sign him to a long term deal, I'll get one too)
• ONE Scott Rolen t-shirt
• INNUMERABLE Arencibia & Lawrie jerseys 
• Peaches didn't get mistaken for Val Kilmer BUT he did run into beloved East Coast Comic Ron James. He's from the East Coast too. It's a big deal.

UPDATE: This GIF was posted on Getting Blanked - witness the unstoppable force and immovable object collide.

#NATTITUDE

I sent The Clash (@wedge_34) a tweet Tuesday morning: Tomorrow's checklist (1) TWO Harper HRs (2) smoke off a Strasburg fastball (3) El Diablo [our colleague, union master, as well as part-time celebrity look alike] mistaken 4 Val Kilmer #Jays #Natttitude

The series against the (first place, NL East) Washington Nationals marks their first visit since their departure from MTL as the Expos. In a season gone topsy-turvey (the Phillies are last place in the NL East and have just lost Halladay for 6-8 weeks; Lincecum is 2-7 with an 6.00 ERA; the White Sox and Indians are quietly leading AL Central), this team's success doesn't really rank amongst the headlines. But they are 12 games above .500. What does make the news is 19 year old phenom Bryce Harper. Remember when Brett Lawrie made his explosive entrance into the majors last year? It was all Toronto could talk about. Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler still can't get over how awesome he is. It's nothing compared to the hype surrounding BH. Apparently, big league scouts and the media have been following him around since before he graduated high school. When most young men were worrying about how to walk in baggy pants worn below one's butt or who to take to prom, Bryce Harper appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated. And, according to Rany Jazayerli on Grantland, he has lived up to all the hype. He ranks as one of the best teenagers to have ever played at the major league level. He's, "the best hitter on a first place team." BH also seems to be of the same variety of intense as the Jays beloved third baseman: he broke his face open with a bat in an outburst (of passion?) His formal welcome to the big leagues, of course, was delivered at the hands of Cole Hamels. BH responded by stealing home. That's a move only a flippant teenager could pull off and he did it with aplomb.

So what happens when the two extreme forces of nature (Jays: Lawrie v. Nationals: Harper) collide on AstroTurf? I will find out tomorrow afternoon and report back. Unless of course, the impact creates a black hole that swallows up the universe.

Notes:

• Speaking of Hamels, The Clash foresees a deal between the Jays and Philles. We send: Escobar, Thames and another hitter to the Phillies for Cole Hamels. "It works out perfectly," he says. Things are looking pretty desperate for the Phillies but I can't wrap my mind around such a deal.

The VEEP lands at Camden Yards

Sports and politics are intertwined. We know, for some reason, that President Obama is White Sox fan and that he loves his basketball. In an effort to show that he's in touch with the "common man" Republican presidential candidate (Willard) Mitt Romney showed up at some NASCAR event ... only to reveal that he's not just a mere spectator but socializes with those who own the teams. When the Ottawa Senators met the NY Rangers in the 2012 playoffs, Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird made a friendly bet with Secretary of State Hilary Clinton on the outcome of that series. Baird lost that bet.

On this weeks episode of VEEP on HBO, the case was no different for Selina Meyer as she visited the Baltimore Orioles at Camden Yards. This was my favourite episode to date because we got to see more of Dan's deviousness (specifically, his guitar-based strategies of seduction); Gary's efforts to prove the masculinity of his work to his father by being in a photo with the Orioles ... only (and of course) to be thwarted; and Selina's complete disinterest in sports. Is there a rule book that states public officials have to know about sports? Remember, before her flub on Meet the Press, she had to rehearse her football knowledge with Mike. Except, when the moderator went off script and asked her a specific question on the the Ravens' running game, she could only reply, "Ray Rice. He play nice." The VEEP is equally out of her element with baseball and has to turn to Jonah (begrudgingly) for help when Gary is out scrambling to purchase every pregnancy test available on the market rather than quietly telling her who everyone is/ what it is they do for a living before she meets them.

Watching from a box, Jonah tells the VEEP via cell phone: "That’s Jake Arrieta. He’s a starting pitcher. And on his left, that’s Tommy Hunter. He’s a starting pitcher. Oh, and that’s Jim Palmer. He’s a Hall of Famer. The guy’s a legend. He’s a starting pitcher as well.” Confused (and stressed out because she might be pregnant and because she's being followed around by a photographer who can read lips), Selina berates Jonah (expletives galore) exclaiming,“You don’t have multiple starting pitchers!! There’s one mound. Do you see three mounds or one mound?!” I love the power dynamics between the 8ft tall Jonah and petite Ms. Meyer. But, armed with nothing other than Jonah's intelligence, she approaches the players only to learn that (as usual) she was in the wrong. Awkward handshakes are exchanged and a team photo (sans Gary) is taken. I wish that there were more meetings like this in real life.

You might wonder why the VEEP met with the Orioles rather the Nationals. I'm guessing it's because the show actually films in nearby Maryland and not DC. The players who made an appearance didn't have an abundance of lines. And, I don't think this was not the most successful meeting of actors/ professional baseball players. Chase Utley/ Ryan Howard on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was much better. But, a great idea nonetheless by the show to feature the Orioles (currently leading the AL East!). There's no better way to adapt The Thick of It for the US than to include its national past time.

"Let's go out and greet the Mets"

Interleague play! I was super excited about the National League East Mets playing at the Rogers Center and then I remembered that pitchers only hit in National League parks. *sad trombone*

Fig. 1

 Last night's game was not even close. The Jays beat the Mets 14-5: J.P Arencibia (who has perfected the pouty/ smouldering look in all of his photos that appear on media at Rogers Center. Seriously, players usually looks like they're posing awkwardly for their high school yearbook photo and J.P. looks like Angelina Jolie! See Fig. 1) hit two home runs and drove in six runs; Rajai Davis (replacing an 0-18 Colby Rasmus in center field) had two home runs himself in the third and fifth inning; and even newly promoted Yan Gomes (filling in for the suspended-overly "passionate" Brett Lawrie at third) had his first ever home run. Even Cordero couldn't come in and blow this game.

 Randomness:

Fig. 2: He says 'hello' to everyone!

• Spotted: former Giants outfielder Andrés Torres is a Met! Happy to see him hitting in the lead off spot after a pretty bad season with San Francisco last year. (See Fig. 2)
• This game felt like it went on for hours partly because the Mets weren't doing anything exciting and because it was waaaay colder than even I anticipated with the dome open. 
• Uniformed security: A group of upstanding young men in the next section were removed by husky uniformed security wearing earpieces for smuggling hard liquor. Mortifying. Listen, if you've bought a ticket, accept that beers cost $10. 
• Hecklers: There's a reason I like sitting by the bases on the field. Besides being close to the action, people there tend to be serious about watching the game. There's drinking and heckling but it's not out of control ... usually. I was sitting much closer to right field last night so we had a great view of Jose Bautista missing two catches early on. Heckler catnip! The people around me also seemed to have a hate-on for RF Kirk Nieuwenhuis (though, I admit, that the "Captain Kirk" jibe was pretty funny). Some rules for hecklers:
• Clever insults only: simply yelling at the top of your lungs because you can is annoying to everyone around you. Look, there's even an instructional website.
• Also, make sure that your insults are relevant. There's nothing worse than an uninformed heckler. If you don't know the outfielder's name, you shouldn't be heckling.
• Know when to shut-up: we find it amusing at the beginning of the game that you've decided to take on the mantle of "that guy." But, understand that by the 7th inning, your blaring voice and nonsensical taunts have grated on those around you for 2+ hours. As George Costanza once learned: leave on a high note.
• Sit in the 100s or upper deck: I'm not being a snob. Field level seats are open and exposed. Seats in the 100 level outfield or the upper deck offer extroverted-loud mouths some anonymity ... though, as I type this rule, I realize that the point is to have as many eyes on you as possible when you do your song and dance. Blurgh.

The Mets continue the series in Toronto until Sunday. The Jays are (22-18). I wonder who Blue Jays bloggers and the "twitterati" (term coined in-game by @hiphopscholar82) are going to focus their scorn on now with Adam Lind gone ...

REVIEW: Painting the Corners: A Collection of Off-Center Baseball Stories, Volume 1 by Bob Weintraub

Bob Weintraub. Painting the Corners: A Collection of Off-Center Baseball Stories, Volume 1 (Iguana Books, 2012).

You can’t make a bad movie about baseball. The same adage can certainly be applied to fiction. And, in the last two years, the literary world has seen a handful of especially strong publications. Bob Weintraub, a former labour lawyer turned fiction writer and life-long Red Sox fan, and his collection of short stories is evidence that this sub-genre is indeed thriving.

In Painting the Corners: A Collection of Off‐Center Baseball Stories, Weintraub’s chronological scope is wide: the eleven stories include the post-Second World War Years (when the St. Louis Browns would play the New York Giants at the fabled Polo Grounds) through to the 2000s when guys like Roger Clemens were still active. The characters that drive these stories stand at the periphery of the game: the managers that lie awake at night thinking about an ailing pitching rotation, the general managers who crunch the numbers; retired players still haunted by the one misplay in their career; and the fans who reminisce fondly about the first HR they ever saw.

Weintraub’s best stories are the ones that unravel the lives of those who, for a brief moment, get to live in the limelight of the big leagues. In “Knuckleball,” Johnny Abbot, pitching coach for the St. Louis Browns, gets stuck in Peoria on his way to Chicago when his Chevy breaks down. With no option but to stay the night, Abbot takes in a local baseball game and finds a solution to his team’s pitching woes on the cusp of the World Series in 19-year old knuckleballer Tommy Morrison. But, Tommy’s brush with major league greatness is only a backdrop to an intimate portrait of those small mid-West one-factory towns from which many great names throughout baseball history have hailed. In these communities, baseball is passed on from generation to generation. It is a game that ends the workday promptly at five twice a week and gathers each member of the small town around a dusty diamond for a couple of hours. These were places where young and talented baseball players have 9 to 5 jobs and high school sweet hearts and, if not for strangers (and fate) traveling through, would happily remain local celebrities. In “Blowing Bubbles, ” Weintraub tells the story of a family of baseball players whose lives are intimately linked to the game in life and death.  Robert Harrison falls in love with his wife Rosslyn Spark at her softball game in 1938. Rosslyn plays professionally after the war before the men overseas were fully demilitarized. Their son Bobby Lee has a short major league career like his father. And, upon her death, Rosslyn leaves her son mementos of the game that the three of them shared. You'll need your Kleenexes for this one! In both these stories, Weintraub has created full characters and complex relationships. He captures beautifully an imagined time in American history when things were simpler and life was better. Indeed, it’s difficult not to imagine the scenes of these stories in sepia tones. The most romantic of all photograph tones. And, he shows that the game of baseball is inextricably woven into the fabric of American life and culture. NB: Canadian fans, the Toronto Blue Jays get a mention too, though the historical association of the Jays versus the Kansas City Royals in a postseason meeting, even in a fictional setting, might be too painful to bear. 

Weintraub has a flair for the dramatic. Each of his stories includes and unexpected twist. Waiting for the big reveal in each story was one of the thrills of reading this book. There are a couple of instances where the surprise revelation is a bit contrived (“The Autograph” and “The Short End of Immorality”) but, on the whole, Weintraub’s usage of this technique works. In “The Kansas City Kid,” for instance, Gregg Talbot, a 39-year-old pitcher in pursuit of 300 wins, is called upon to fulfill a much greater role when he meets up with an old friend (and unrequited love) Michelle Edwards (the only niece of Kansas City Royals’ Owner Wayne Lancaster). Another wonderful feature of Weintraub’s stories is the prominence of women characters. They’re not just girlfriends, "cleat-chasers", wives and mothers. The women in these stories, for example, play the game in their own right and are the head of major league organizations. The diversity of women characters in this collection is unconventional and refreshing. In this respect, Weintraub has harnessed successfully some of the magic from the memorable comedy-drama A League of Their Own (1992) that all young women, who came of age during the 1990s (including this reviewer), film-lovers and baseball fans alike will appreciate.

For obsessive and casual fans and lovers of fiction, Bob Weintraub’s collection of short stories is an item that one should add to their summer reading list as soon as you're done reading this review!

Click here for a link to the Iguana Books online bookstore. And here for an interview with the author by Jonathan Hacohen on MLBReports.com.